The Subtle Art of Not Giveing a Fck Book
The Subtle Fine art of Not Giving A F*ck by Mark Manson claims to provide "a counterintuitive approach to living a adept life." He wrote this book in reaction to the bug he saw in the self-help industry. His ain groundwork is every bit a blogger; there's no indication that he has a background in psychology or any sort of related field. &This book represents his stance, but those opinions are sometimes presented as fact. In that location's aught wrong with an opinion, but I think it needs to exist more clearly delineated as such.
In some ways, some of the author'due south philosophy is a rebrand of radical acceptance. Manson discusses the importance of non-superficial values, and while his arroyo isn't necessarily my favourite the content is reasonable. He challenges modern society'south focus on materialism and the pursuit of positivity, to the point of avoiding everything else. He repeatedly refers to entitlement as a primal underlying trouble; notwithstanding, there'south a tinge of brattiness to his writing style that detracts from this message.
There were a number of ways in which this book fell brusque for me. One of the places where he lost me was the thought of "don't try". Trying for the sake of personal growth is very different from trying to keep up with the Joneses. Manson argues that "everything worthwhile in life is won through surmounting the associated negative experience". While this may sometimes be the case, I doubt the veracity of this as a broad generalization. At that place are some valid messages near things similar values that get watered down by somewhat cavalier examples.
I was definitely in agreement when Manson criticized the oft-repeated "be happy" bulletin, pointing out that "accepting negative experience is a positive experience." He writes that social media tends to trigger a "feedback loop from hell" that constantly reminds us that others are doing ameliorate than we are, and we are inadequate.
Getting to the indicate of the book's title, Manson suggests that "to not requite a fuck is to stare down life'due south most terrifying and difficult challenges and withal take action." He adds that we should choose what matters, and what is or is not successful, based on personal values, which I would certainly agree with. He encourages action fifty-fifty in the absenteeism of motivation, which is similar to behavioural activation in cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT).
The writer believes that entitled people exude a "delusional degree of self-confidence" and operate inside a "narcissistic bubble". This made me wonder, though, a) isn't this but an farthermost example of not giving a fuck, and b) does he know what delusional actually ways? Manson explains that:
The ticket to emotional health, similar that to physical wellness, comes from eating your veggies – that is, accepting the bland and mundane truths of life… This vegetable course will sense of taste bad at first. Very bad. You will avoid accepting it… [Only then] the knowledge and acceptance of your own mundane existence volition really free you to accomplish what you truly wish to reach.
I disagree with simple pleasures being presented every bit "bland and mundane" and something that is necessarily aversive at commencement. The elementary things are oft the nearly cute.
The book touches on the idea of "victimhood chic", involving a lack of personal responsibility and the trend to be hands offended and outraged by any perceived slight. Whether or not this is true, I call back it minimizes those that are victims of abuse. I also disagreed with the writer's statement that "in the process of irresolute your values, y'all'll feel like a failure and will feel rejection"; I call up there's no reason why that should be truthful as a coating argument.
Manson talks about what sounds similar his own entitled, bratty past. I get the sense that, in the present tense, he'due south not necessarily someone I'd want to spend much time with. He explains that if his wife gets dolled upwardly for a night out and he doesn't like her fashion choices, he'll come right out and tell her, "considering honesty is more important to me than feeling practiced all the time". In my mind, there's honest, and then there'south asshole, and the difference lies in consideration of the other person's feelings.
He states that "if two people are close are not able to hash out their differences openly and vocally, and so the relationship is based on manipulation and misrepresentation, and it will slowly become toxic." I'thousand not certain why he presumes to dictate how couples should communicate within their relationships, only simply considering he prefers one communication way doesn't mean that others are manipulative and toxic.
This was definitely an interesting book; sometimes interesting in a good way, but other times in a bad way. I'd say it disappointed me compared to what my expectations were.
The Subtle Art of Not Giving A F*ck is bachelor on Amazon (affiliate link).
Yous can find my other reviews on the MH@H volume review index or on Goodreads.
Source: https://mentalhealthathome.org/2018/08/16/book-review-the-subtle-art-of-not-giving-a-fck/
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